I Choose Joy!

      The hardest part about writing a blog is never knowing how to start it, and so I decided to start this one by admitting that I have no idea how to start it! Lol! I have so many things in my head I want to say and yet can never come up with a good intro...the struggles of a writer. I'm just gonna start rambling I guess, and I hope you enjoy it! Good luck ;) haha! I never really talk TOO much about my struggles online. But occasionally I do write blogs about my struggles because sometimes I feel led to share so that others don't feel so alone. So that I can encourage them AND hold myself accountable at the same time. So, here's my honesty and my challenge to you all wrapped into one!

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." -Galatians 5:22-25

      Lately, my biggest struggle has been joy. I've been lacking it for a few weeks now and putting up a facade for friends and family. But, if you know anything about my family you know my Mom is my best friend and like any other good mother can, she saw right past the mask I kept putting on daily. My mom has been asking me frequently if I've been okay. My first mistake has been always replying to her that "I'm good!" She could tell that I wasn't but was patiently waiting for me to come to her about it. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized how unstable I was.
      Have you ever been stuck in such a fog that you sort of involuntarily begin doing rash things? My mom's warning signs of my mental state were that I had started hiding away in my room, and I had stopped eating normal meals (I KNOW IT'S SHOCKING!) So yesterday, when she confronted me about it, asking me to go get some food in my stomach, I finally just caved. I broke down, admitting the battle going on inside between my head and my heart. So, I basically confirmed what my mother already knew (because she's secretly a genius ;) although she'll never admit to it!) and my secret was out. Mask removed.
Today as I've been taking my mothers advice and also reflecting on my behavior these past few weeks I've realized something....It isn't about the emotions I'm feeling. It's not about my lack of joy. It's about what I've been doing about it that's made me feel so awful. It's about the amount of time I've given it power over me. From skipping lunches to crying at 1AM, I wasted time letting the devil take control over the state of my mind and my heart. And today that's gonna stop.
   
      Did you know that you can choose your emotions? I'm serious. I know it doesn't always feel like it, but you can. Here's why according to an organization I found called 6seconds.org while researching this, there is a difference between emotion and feeling. Here's what the article says:

Emotions are chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger.  It takes our brains about 1/4 second to identify the trigger, and about another 1/4 second to produce the chemicals.  By the way, emotion chemicals are released throughout our bodies, not just in our brains, and they form a kind of feedback loop between our brains & bodies. They last for about six seconds – hence the name of our organization. Feelings happen as we begin to integrate the emotion, to think about it, to “let it soak in.”  In English, we use “feel” for both physical and emotional sensation — we can say we physically feel cold, but we can also emotionally feel cold.  This is a clue to the meaning of “feeling,” it’s something we sense.  Feelings are more “cognitively saturated” as the emotion chemicals are processed in our brains & bodies. Feelings are often fueled by a mix of emotions, and last for longer than emotions.

     

       So, do you see the difference? A feeling is what happens when you let an emotion sink in. When you focus on it, when you give it time and power. That darkness you're feeling, that sadness, that loneliness....quit giving it your time. Fill your time with something positive instead! Whatever that may look like for you. I know for me that means spending a lot of time with Jesus, a lot of time with family, a lot of time singing, and a lot of time serving others! You have a choice friend, so what feeling will you choose today? Tomorrow? This week? Will you let those negative emotions sink in like I was doing? Or will you instead choose joy? I hope you'll choose joy with me! I'm praying for you, just as I hope you're praying for me, and for my fellow music lovers here are two songs I keep singing in my mind to remind me to choose joy an to know that God is with me! CHOOSE JOY!