The Seeing Unseen
I'm never really sure how to begin my blog posts... I always have so many ideas running through my mind that I tend to struggle to pick just one. But today, today is different. Here's why, I had a vision....
It wasn't one of those "I can see into the future" visions. No. It was a vision God gave me showing me the state of my heart. Now, before I share this post I have two things to share. One, some of you may remember that I once was engaged. The place this vision took place was in the spot I was proposed to (pictured below). And two, I would be lying if I told you I haven't been struggling lately, with multiple things. Loneliness being a big one, but also spirituality, learning to be silent...the list could go on really.... So, now that I have those two things squared away, I can share my vision knowing that you'll understand where I'm coming from right now.
I was standing on the beach, right where I had once stood during that important moment in my life. I was wearing a white and blue dress and the wind was blowing it around my legs. My hair was swishing back and forth in front of my face and tears were rolling down my cheeks. I was alone. I was afraid, I was yearning for God, and I felt isolated. I had a small piece of paper clasped in my hands, written on it was one word, "Future." It was crumpled up, as if it had been held onto tightly for a very long time. As I stood there the water was peaceful and still, no waves, no fish, no birds or ducks. There wasn't a boat or a dock in sight. It was just me, the sand, the water and God. I couldn't see God, but I knew He was there. I slowly knelt down and laid the piece of paper in the sand. I dug a hole and placed it inside, then I covered it up with more sand. As I slowly stood up I began to sob, feeling the surrender flow out of me, the feeling of trusting my literally unseen future to God. Once I was standing up straight again people began to gather behind me on the beach. My family, the new friends I have made the past few months and even the guy I was once engaged to slowly popped up and then faded away again. I knew then that I could let go, that God had already begun my journey to the future He had planned for me. I was not alone. Then, the vision ended.
Lately, I've felt pressured. Mostly by myself (go figure.) But I've felt like I need to figure out what I'm doing next in life. I've been grasping at any opportunity available, to learn more things about jobs or organizations that I'm interested in. I've tried to keep it within my control, what I will be doing next. You see, I'm not trying to brag, but up until this point I was very confident with what I was doing with my life. I knew right out of high school that I wanted to be a missionary, I had known since I was little. I knew when I was engaged that I was ready and I truly thought that being a new wife was my next step in life. But now, now I'm not so sure what the next step is for me, and I'm struggling with being okay with that. I've been trying too hard to stay one step ahead of God (like I even could...) and try to control which path I take next. But last night, at my churches Ash Wednesday service God kept pointing out some key words to me. And when I finally took some time today to sit in silence and actually listen to Him, He took those words and created them into a beautiful vision. Last night at service, our pastor read Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21. He read it out loud exactly three times, asking us after each time what we felt, what we thought God was saying to us, and what we thought God might be asking us to change in our lives. And the same words kept popping up in my head.... "your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees..."
I've been trying to see my future for so long, trying to be ready for it. That I've forgotten that there is someone who already sees it for me. He is the unseen who sees. He sees everything. I just need to choose to surrender everyday to Him, and let Him guide me where He wants me to be. Looking back now I can see His hand in every step of my life. I've just selfishly been in the way. Starting today, I'm surrendering all, I'm giving Him my all and trying my hardest to always remember that He sees all.
Dear El Roi, Dear God Who Sees,
I come before you now surrendering everything. My past, my present, my future. My family, friends and everyone I hold dear. The hurt I've been harboring, the hurt that has bid me to keep control on my future. I pray that you inspect my heart, and rid it of the things not set there by You. I know that You see all. So help me to sit back and let you take the steering wheel so that my journey in life will be more smooth. So that it will keep me always driving towards you. Lord, thank you for random visions. Ones we see and we know are from you. Thank you for speaking to our hearts in so many different ways. Take it all Jesus, for my future is Yours.
Amen
It wasn't one of those "I can see into the future" visions. No. It was a vision God gave me showing me the state of my heart. Now, before I share this post I have two things to share. One, some of you may remember that I once was engaged. The place this vision took place was in the spot I was proposed to (pictured below). And two, I would be lying if I told you I haven't been struggling lately, with multiple things. Loneliness being a big one, but also spirituality, learning to be silent...the list could go on really.... So, now that I have those two things squared away, I can share my vision knowing that you'll understand where I'm coming from right now.
I was standing on the beach, right where I had once stood during that important moment in my life. I was wearing a white and blue dress and the wind was blowing it around my legs. My hair was swishing back and forth in front of my face and tears were rolling down my cheeks. I was alone. I was afraid, I was yearning for God, and I felt isolated. I had a small piece of paper clasped in my hands, written on it was one word, "Future." It was crumpled up, as if it had been held onto tightly for a very long time. As I stood there the water was peaceful and still, no waves, no fish, no birds or ducks. There wasn't a boat or a dock in sight. It was just me, the sand, the water and God. I couldn't see God, but I knew He was there. I slowly knelt down and laid the piece of paper in the sand. I dug a hole and placed it inside, then I covered it up with more sand. As I slowly stood up I began to sob, feeling the surrender flow out of me, the feeling of trusting my literally unseen future to God. Once I was standing up straight again people began to gather behind me on the beach. My family, the new friends I have made the past few months and even the guy I was once engaged to slowly popped up and then faded away again. I knew then that I could let go, that God had already begun my journey to the future He had planned for me. I was not alone. Then, the vision ended.
Lately, I've felt pressured. Mostly by myself (go figure.) But I've felt like I need to figure out what I'm doing next in life. I've been grasping at any opportunity available, to learn more things about jobs or organizations that I'm interested in. I've tried to keep it within my control, what I will be doing next. You see, I'm not trying to brag, but up until this point I was very confident with what I was doing with my life. I knew right out of high school that I wanted to be a missionary, I had known since I was little. I knew when I was engaged that I was ready and I truly thought that being a new wife was my next step in life. But now, now I'm not so sure what the next step is for me, and I'm struggling with being okay with that. I've been trying too hard to stay one step ahead of God (like I even could...) and try to control which path I take next. But last night, at my churches Ash Wednesday service God kept pointing out some key words to me. And when I finally took some time today to sit in silence and actually listen to Him, He took those words and created them into a beautiful vision. Last night at service, our pastor read Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21. He read it out loud exactly three times, asking us after each time what we felt, what we thought God was saying to us, and what we thought God might be asking us to change in our lives. And the same words kept popping up in my head.... "your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees..."
I've been trying to see my future for so long, trying to be ready for it. That I've forgotten that there is someone who already sees it for me. He is the unseen who sees. He sees everything. I just need to choose to surrender everyday to Him, and let Him guide me where He wants me to be. Looking back now I can see His hand in every step of my life. I've just selfishly been in the way. Starting today, I'm surrendering all, I'm giving Him my all and trying my hardest to always remember that He sees all.
Dear El Roi, Dear God Who Sees,
I come before you now surrendering everything. My past, my present, my future. My family, friends and everyone I hold dear. The hurt I've been harboring, the hurt that has bid me to keep control on my future. I pray that you inspect my heart, and rid it of the things not set there by You. I know that You see all. So help me to sit back and let you take the steering wheel so that my journey in life will be more smooth. So that it will keep me always driving towards you. Lord, thank you for random visions. Ones we see and we know are from you. Thank you for speaking to our hearts in so many different ways. Take it all Jesus, for my future is Yours.
Amen
Comments
Post a Comment