A Smackeral Of Life

      The hardest part about writing a blog is never knowing how to start it, and so I decided to start this one by admitting that I have no idea how to start it! Lol! I have so many things in my head I want to say and yet can never come up with a good intro...the struggles of a writer. I'm just gonna start rambling I guess, and I hope you enjoy it! Good luck ;) haha! I never really talk TOO much about my struggles online. But occasionally I do write blogs about my struggles because sometimes I feel led to share so that others don't feel so alone. So that I can encourage them AND hold myself accountable at the same time. So, here's my honesty and my challenge to you all wrapped into one! "  But the fruit  of the Spirit is love,  joy, peace,  forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,     gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.   Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh  with i...

I feel like most of my blogs have been about waiting. I’m convinced that I do a lot of waiting because God knows I need as much practice with patience as I can get! He’s always trying to teach me something new with every season of life, and every season of life consists of a pause. I guess I know I’ve been waiting for a while this time, but it has been different for me. Somehow, in my weak human state, I’ve been able to surrender more to Him as time has gone on. Every step I thought He was pushing me towards would only end in two more steps back, until I came to where I am now. I took the picture below today while on a walk, and it made me think of where I am. Sometimes, we feel that in order for God to use us, we need to prepare for it. Don’t get me wrong, having a relationship with Him, praying to Him, reading His word. This is all amazing! And should be done as often as possible. But, there is no amount of work we as humans can do to “prepare” ourselves for what God has in store. Y...

When people say the word home, they associate it with a house built on dirt somewhere. Rooms filled with trinkets and pictures hung on the wall. A soft bed to call their own and all the comforts they need to enjoy life shoved into a square building with a roof. That’s home.  But me, I’ve found that home is so much more than 4 walls. I’ve found that my home is where my heart is. People, states, different countries even.  It’s both hard and amazing to have your home in multiple places.  We left home a few days ago. And by that I mean we left our boat down in The Keys. A place introduced to me 3 years ago, a place that has captured my heart from the very first day. So many friends, so many amazing memories and opportunities, an even more amazing church and church family. This is home. Every winter for the past 3 years it’s been home. And although I know we will be returning in the fall I can’t help but feel my heart break a little bit as we pull away.  Don’t ge...

I haven’t blogged since November of last year, and to be honest it’s because I’ve been stuck on what to write. Nothing and yet everything has happened all at once! I’ve quit two jobs, moved onto the boat with my family, been traveling the U.S. (currently enjoying the weather in the Florida Keys!) and I’ve also been on a journey that’s been tougher than I thought. The journey of continued healing, and continued growth. So, as you can see, it’s hard to choose what to write about! But tonight I felt called to share this little story I was given as I listened to worship music on our fly bridge this evening. So, here’s a spotlight of one of the many places I’m at in life right now. “I sit still huddled against the captains chair. I’m not even in the chair, I’ve become so frightened that I’ve sat down with my knees pulled closely to my chest. My clothes, now soaked, cling tightly to me and my hair is blown to and fro by the powerful wind. I know this storm. It’s one I’ve rode through befor...

 I’m not one to get into politics on social media, honestly, I’m the last person. It confuses me too much and I don’t have any desire to start anything with anyone, for fear they may confuse me more. But, that is not what this blog is going to be about. This blog is going to be about the ads put out during this time of year. So, hear me out before you slide your screen over and swipe this page up. We as people urge acts of kindness every single day. It’s expected of us as children, it’s expected of us as adults. To have respect for our fellow human beings, to show them kindness in our differences, and to be an example for the generations that follow us has been ingrained in our heads since we said our first word. “No! Don’t pull your sisters hair! That’s not nice!” “No, we do not name call in this house! It’s unkind and hurts peoples feelings!” “The customer is always right, treat them with respect.” “You need to be a good example for the new employees coming in, so please respec...

Do you know how mother eagles teach their babies to fly? It's quite a painful process really, and if I were a baby eagle I would probably be scarred for life! But, there is some genius behind it. It starts out fairly normal, the mother eagle makes an extravagant nest full of feathers and comfort just for her babies! The eggs lounge around in this comfy bed until they hatch, and then the baby eagles get to enjoy the comfort for a little while. After some time spent amongst the cuddly feathers and other eagles, the mother begins to remove feathers every day. Little by little she removes them until the nest becomes unbearable to sit in. The babies venture over to the side of the nest and peer out into the vast skyline before them. Then, they do the unthinkable, they jump. With no skill, no experience, no lessons, they just use all of their strength and jump right out of their cozy little nest. And, they fall, then they fall some more, and then they keep falling, until they are so clos...

I've been wanting to write so badly lately, but I've been afraid to. Mainly because what I want to write is something so vulnerable about myself that I'm afraid to just be honest and put it out there. So....wanna know the truth? Okay, here goes.  I'm not okay.  I haven't been for a few weeks now. Every night is a struggle for sleep. Every day is a battle to get off my phone in the morning (which helps me zone out) and get out of bed. I've been striving so hard in life right now to find joy. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad in my life. I'm continuing to grow and walk with The Lord, I have two jobs, and I have amazing friends that I spend my time with. But lately all of those things have just given me a "temporary high." Once I'm out of bed in the morning I feel better, and when I'm in The Word I'm soaking it up. When I'm with friends I'm smiling and laughing and genuinely enjoying my time with them! But take tha...

Have you ever seen this movie? I've seen it about a million times, and after I'm done writing this blog I will probably go watch it again! It's a family favorite here at our house, and you can find us trying to decide between this movie and "Finding Dory" often. I've thought a lot about emotions recently, and how we as humans deal with them and as I thought some more this movie popped up in my mind. So I thought I would take the opportunity to use the characters in this movie to showcase all of the things I have been thinking and feeling lately :) Joy "Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4) This is joy, she's bubbly, outgoing, fun and makes sure that Riley (the girl in the movie) is happy as much as possible! Whenever Riley starts to feel down, joy jumps in and reminds her of the good things in life. Joy is always good company to keep, and one emotion that we always want to stick around just a...

This blog post may be short, but it's something I felt I needed to share. God has a funny way of poking at us, of preparing us for the unknown in ways that we...well...don't know! That happened to me recently, and as I shared it today in church during our "Where have you seen God and what has He been saying to you?" segment, something much deeper seemed to rise to the surface after I sat back down from sharing this story with my friends in the congregation. So, here I am sharing it with you and the amount of emotion that showed itself after. If you're friends with my mom or me on FaceBook you would have seen by now the many things my family is going through. To recap on a few... My youngest sister has a heart defect, she is special needs and takes many medications. As of tomorrow, we lose her insurance. The insurance that purchases her $5,000+ a month medication. We are still in the process of figuring out what we're going to do about this, and thankfully...

I'm never really sure how to begin my blog posts... I always have so many ideas running through my mind that I tend to struggle to pick just one. But today, today is different. Here's why, I had a vision.... It wasn't one of those "I can see into the future" visions. No. It was a vision God gave me showing me the state of my heart. Now, before I share this post I have two things to share. One, some of you may remember that I once was engaged. The place this vision took place was in the spot I was proposed to (pictured below). And two, I would be lying if I told you I haven't been struggling lately, with multiple things. Loneliness being a big one, but also spirituality, learning to be silent...the list could go on really.... So, now that I have those two things squared away, I can share my vision knowing that you'll understand where I'm coming from right now. I was standing on the beach, right where I had once stood during that important moment in...

Waiting...it's not always an easy process. Waiting for the job interviewer to call you back, waiting for the baby to come, waiting for that new Christmas gift to arrive in the mail, waiting for your paycheck to come, waiting for a vacation....waiting.  A lot has happened in this last year, and if I'm being honest a lot of changes have been made. Someone asked me today if they were good changes or bad changes, my answer was, "They were mostly all good changes (a few bad), but they were also hard ones."  At the beginning of this year my family flew in from being in Florida on our boat trip to attend my uncles funeral, a few months later we returned home for good and completely finished our boating adventure, a few months after that I was engaged, and a few weeks later I found myself heartbroken and no longer engaged, for the remainder of the year things like a new job, a new haircut, a new car, losing some friends, and making  some great new ones came along. Change. ...

  I've loved this book ever since I was a child and have even been given this exact book several times as a gift. It speaks to my life in more ways than one, but I never thought I would get to a point in life where the words would mean so much. Where I would tear up at the innocent rawness shown in this children's book. But, I found myself reading it today, I couldn't find the actual book I had been given (it's probably stashed under my bed in one of the many boxes I haven't unpacked yet since being home,) and so I read it online. Right here , and I found myself with tears gathering in my eyes as I reflected on the imagery shown throughout it and how much it spoke into my life right now. This book is full of adventure and options. Full of paths, and roads, and "out of towns." It talks a lot about choices, and how each one has an impact on our path in life. But, something it also touches on is the fact that not every path is known by us. Some...

Sometimes we have rough times, and recently I've had a lot of them. But God has taught me a very valuable lesson. And believe it or not He taught it to me while I was on an island. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Out of all the things I've learned the past three weeks there is one saying that has become near and dear to my heart. If you follow me on Facebook you will know that recently my family took a nice little mini vacation to Put In Bay. This is a saying that is seen vastly throughout the island. I've seen it for years, every time we go actually.  I've taken countless pictures of that same rock and used it for old Instagram posts, Snapchat Stories, and probably Facebook photos as well. But this saying has never touched me as much as it did this last week. The story behind the saying goes something like this: I n the year 1813 Captain James Lawrence of the American Navy commanded troops aboard the ship USS Ch...

  As Mary Magdalene walked slowly to the burial place of Jesus, she recounted the last few moments she saw Him. Wrapped in linen, laying in a tomb. They did not have time to cover Him with spices, and with that knowledge, Mary had set out that morning to go and finish properly burying her Lord. She hadn’t slept well in a few days, and when she did sleep it was fitful and only brought nightmares. Flashbacks of Jesus hanging on the cross went through her mind, bringing tears to her eyes during all hours of the day. But, she really did try to be strong, for she wanted to help Mary, Jesus’ mother, stay strong too. The poor woman had suffered so much, watching her precious child die for all the world to see. She had faithfully stood at the foot of the cross, below her son, her own flesh and blood. She too was getting less and less sleep and more and more tears.         Mary Magdalene walked on through the garden towards the tomb of her Jesus. She paused,...

As the disciples sat together, each in his place around the table, they talked amongst themselves of the many miracles they had witnessed over the years with Jesus.  “Do you remember when all those people gave a lot of money at the temple?” Peter asked. “Yes!” said John, “And then the widow came and gave one mite. Jesus was quick to point out her act of love for God.” “What about the day we threw tables around the temple?” said James. “That was a whirlwind of a day!” They all chuckled, remembering the faces of the workers as their tables were being flung across the courtyard. As they continued to recount all of the amazing things that had passed, Jesus rose from His seat. They all rose, ready to follow Him to wherever He would lead them next. “No,” said Jesus, “stay seated please, my brothers.” With that, they sat down once more and watched as Jesus left the room. He returned a short time later dressed with a towel around His waist and a bowl and jar in His hand. He ...